The Divine Comedy

Dr Nikola · Joined: 20 Feb 2010 Posts: 17

World Exclusive Review! Having read the titles (and tried to scrub clean my eyes having viewed the world's palest chest), and listened to a poor quality live version of an album track, I am now in a position to offer the following IN DEPTH review. Enjoy!

1. Down In The Street Below
This sounds like the first track on the DLM album. 3/5

2. The Complete Banker
As bad as 'The Happy Goth'. 2/5

3. Neapolitan Girl
Nice 3/5

4. Bang Goes The Knighthood
Poor attempt at Ray Davies social commentary. 2/5

5. At The Indie Disco
Awful, AWFUL lyrics. You're pushing 40, man! 1/5

6. Have You Ever Been In Love
This will be good 4/5

7. Assume the Perpendicular
Obviously going to be a throw-away instrumental 2/5

8. The Lost Art of Conversation
Standard post-Regeneration droning slow track in Neil's 'manly' voice 3/5

9. Island Life
Charming 3/5

10. When A Man Cries
You will only listen to this track once 2/5

11. Can You Stand Upon One Leg
I quite like that band that did that song about the birdhouse in the soul 3/5

12. I Like
I don't 2/5

So there you have it. Officially, Neil's weakest album since 'Fanfare'.

Summary: Bang, there goes the career!

drykid · Joined: 16 Dec 2003 Posts: 2099 Location: On the boundary

Hah!

Best. Post. Evar.

tony_p · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 10:51 pm Post subject:

i have a problem - when i see the title 'can you stand upon one leg' i can only hear neil singing 'i've got two legs' from python

James R · Joined: 29 Mar 2006 Posts: 136 Location: Guernsey

tony_p · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:37 pm Post subject:

..and 'i like traffic lights' for track 12

for me,i'll be happy with an album that's a mashup of, from recent years,they stylings of aloaca, the plough, count grassi, snowball, nightwatchman, b&d&m etc....that's the album i want...

oh, and no guest 'stars'...

and the dlm to be put to bed as well, please...

and to come back to the liverpool royal court on the tour, please,reasonably priced...

and, while you're at it, neily, can we have our pen back, please?

Universal* · Joined: 24 Nov 2002 Posts: 2244

tony_p · Posted: Tue Mar 09, 2010 11:58 pm Post subject:

i know, and still no luck - i even emailed in when he did that radio show ... Very Happy

he's had it 6 years now, he'd better have been looking after it....

tony_p · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:09 am Post subject:

i certainly will, and i will no doubt love a lot of it...i just hope it goes in the direction i want it to...very selfish, i know

*edit - oh, thanks, dreamster, delete your post, then, and make me look like i'm waffling inanely - i can do that well enough by myself Very Happy

*

MissDreamy · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:11 am Post subject:

I've just deleted about three comments, but can we just see what it will be actually like without all the rubbish first!!!??? Godammit! Shocked

Ps - sorry Tony_p Wink

tony_p · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 12:14 am Post subject:

i want it now, so all the speculation can bugger off
in fact, holly, in order to achieve this i am perfectly happy for you to send me an advance copy which i will then review, impartially,for the board
this will then put an end to all this hoohah and flimflam

no, no need to thank me...i am a slave of duty...

lucyamb · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:00 am Post subject:

I'm not going to speculate, I'm just looking forward to hearing it. Oh, and I'm REALLY looking forward to hearing it! Very Happy

blue circles · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 1809

jon-senior · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 341 Location: Winchester

New album = brilliant news.

If I wasn't due for fatherhood again two weeks before release, this would be the most exciting thing about the month of May.

Dagada Dagada · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 5361 Location: Eggy Burp

The only reason for any perceived negativity is only because people want the album to be the best it can be. It's no slighting of Neil, just our hopes and fears about him being successful and receiving the appreciation he deserves rather than being lodged in the public's mind as the novelty munchkin with the song about the bus. And remember that with Neil appearances can be deceptive. Song titles ate no indication of content, and live versions may not sound like final album versions. I await hearing the tracks with master baited breath.

Twentington · Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 791

Going Downhill Fast · Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 1327 Location: Paris, 1919

Twentington · Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 791

Twentington · Joined: 17 Mar 2008 Posts: 791

Ooh tell you what though, if it had been Matt Berry in the bath instead of Neil that would have worked.

CG · Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 8062 Location: Scotland.

Wonder whats on the delux CD ? extra songs, a DVD like last time ?
& wonder what type of merch there'll be, T-shirts hopefully & maybe a TDC rubber duck for our own baths Laughing

......LadyCG would like TDC Champers please for her bath Wink

drykid · Joined: 16 Dec 2003 Posts: 2099 Location: On the boundary

blue circles · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 1809

And, HollyDC: Can you ask Neil to sack and/or kick in the cock and balls anyone who thinks about spoiling the release by plonking it onto the internet before release date. With it being such a teeny tiny record label, I'd have thought this would be much easier to control.

BillGates999 · Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Posts: 19

Adam · Joined: 02 Jul 2005 Posts: 106 Location: Berlin

BillGates999 · Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Posts: 19

Well the first thing came to my mind watching the 'Bang Goes the Knighthood' photo was the video of 'National Express'. It's very haha.

The only thing I miss are the sunglasses. On the covers of his best albums he wore them (Fin de Siecle, Promenade, Casanova...).

CG · Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 8062 Location: Scotland.

Don't understand how Neil in a Bath is any different to Neil in a field or Neil on a sofa or Neil pretending to be a racing driver on a stamp ?
How many people buy / don't buy an album based on the cover ?

I'm sure this place will be buzzing once people actually hear the album so i think we should wait until then & not speculate that a certain cover equates to a certain type of music

tony_p · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:21 pm Post subject:

but why shouldnt people speculate if they want to? whats so wrong in that, especially in a place where he is the main reason were here...nobodys going to get put off tdc and im sure neils skin is thick enough..

CG · Joined: 08 Nov 2004 Posts: 8062 Location: Scotland.

ok speculate was maybe the wrong word...maybe should have said presume Wink

Im personaly excited about it after hearing songs like The Night Watchman on DLM as that tells me Neil's as good as ever & that album cover was funny too.

tony_p · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 6:40 pm Post subject:

its the same thing, though, isnt it? whether people want to speculate or presume then surely they have a right to do so if they want to and this forum is surely the best place to do that - as i say, were all fans here at the end of the day
Very Happy

this harkens back to previous discussions where those of us who might have the occasional concern about something tdc-related get shouted down - links to dags words in a way...often the reason we do this is because we want the very best from and for neil

its absolutely right that noone should be making judgements before anything is heard, but the discussion should be open to all possible sides

anyway, rant over Very Happy

and agreed on the nightwatchman Wink

Thin Lizzie · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:48 pm Post subject:

Hellooooo All!

I hope this isn't going to be like when William Hague wore that baseball cap on a roller coaster.
I really want to not hear it before getting it home this time, but am seriously worried after seeing those titles and the photo...

Here is my two-penn'th worth for anyone who is interested:

Album Cover
I cannot take this to the counter in my local HMV and buy it without wearing a stocking over my head. Embarrassment factor 10+

Title
This fills me with a cold sense of dread in the pit of my stomach

Track-listing
1. Down In The Street Below
A bit like "Montague Terrace in Blue" by Scott Walker

2. The Complete Banker
Social commentary?

3. Neapolitan Girl
Sounds nice - can't read much from this one

4. Bang Goes The Knighthood
Like To Die a Virgin only worse - I will skip it as I can't take the disappointment I anticipate from this

5. At The Indie Disco
No thanks - sooooo Ninetees!

6. Have You Ever Been In Love
Yes.

7. Assume the Perpendicular
Eh? No, I shrink from this too.

8. The Lost Art of Conversation
Noe Cowardy

9. Island Life
Barry Manilow alert

10. When A Man Cries
Ballad a la X-Factor winner

11. Can You Stand Upon One Leg
Piano-led, a bit jangly like Imaginary Friend maybe - whimsical but not a stayer.

12. I Like
Will be a list of stuff a la Lost Property/Edward the Confessor/Gin Soaked Boy, which I wont like

Anyhoooo....
Here's hoping this is actually a hoax....

**Disclaimer**
The writer is not slagging this album, as she hasn't heard it yet, but has high expectations and a mortal fear of disappointment. Any opinions expressed here are those of a socialist vegetarian so should be ignored.

Dagada Dagada · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 5361 Location: Eggy Burp

It'd be a pretty elaborate April fool's trick if it were a hoax. I can imagine the post already.

"haha! Fooled you all. There is no new album, and furthermore, the dog ate Neil moments after the photo was taken out of sheer embarasment."

Thin Lizzie · Posted: Wed Mar 10, 2010 7:55 pm Post subject:

Don't be ridiculous. I meant the title & cover, not the whole thing. Tsk.

Gin Soaked Michael · Joined: 29 Mar 2004 Posts: 161 Location: London

I think the cover looks great, it taps into all the 'bash a banker' vibes at the moment too!

Best of all, NO BEARD Very Happy

Alfie Casanova · Joined: 31 Dec 2002 Posts: 1969 Location: 23 meteor street

I'm with Dag, Twentington and James R. When I first saw the cover I thought "Oh dear god.." Less gimmicks and more epics please. Agree totally with all three of you to the letter.

distantshores · Joined: 03 Sep 2009 Posts: 20 Location: US

I like a lot of the song titles. I can imagine the opener "Down In The Street Below" as a grand ochestral number, with an old movie musical kind of vibe.
Like something from "My Fair Lady", only better.

Some of the other titles remind me more of a song like"Overstrand" than the DLM. But I love them both. The DLM album was my favorite album of '09 by miles.

There aren't too many Neil Hannon songs that I dislike. So whether it sounds like Promenade, Victory, or DLM, it's all fine by me.

As long it doesn't sound like "Thrillseeker" or "In And Out Of Paris And London"! Or, as much as I grew to love the entire album, the 50% or so of Regeneration that sounds like Radiohead.

I love "At The Indie Disco" by the way. Nice melodies on the pre-chorus. I imagine the finished version having a divine bassline and some big ol' glam rock riffs.

andy · Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 166

Wow, seriously, why not wait for the record to come out before moaning.

The cover is excellent me thinks. As for song titles, I really don't care. I mean Pamplemousse was pretty silly, but it was GREAT.

BillGates999 · Joined: 10 Jun 2008 Posts: 19

Dagada Dagada · Joined: 21 Nov 2002 Posts: 5361 Location: Eggy Burp

Jennifer · Posted: Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:01 pm Post subject:

With a hint of Tigermilk

andy · Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 166

TBH, Indie disco has potential to be the new Daddy's Car. It's the same kinda tune. I'm not saying it should be the same, but it has the same kinda vibe. A good little song that's more than a filler but less than a standout track.

You just gotta imagine instrumentation and backing vocals behind. I bet there will be a lot of back vox.

And Neil has never released a bad album, if you think about it, it's been 4 years since the last one, so if he decided it was time for another DC record, then he must have the tunes.